hello. i feel like shit..

i wonder if i had already used this pic.

anyways, i just realised reality.
it isn't that beautiful; it is ugly.
after watching two movies recently,
'watchmen' and 'the ugly truth',
i guess it's me then.

the world isn't that nice.
i must have been to naive to think that everything is so simple
it's not. it never was.
but it felt like it is; looked like it is
because we delude ourselves that it is.
well, that's one of my stupid theory

eventhough we know nothing's gonna change, maybe.
but that's why we make it like there might be hope,
which there isn't. really.
and then comes, faith, love, wishes, smiles & laughters.
just another way to, you know, make things better?
nope, it just makes you feel better, maybe
but it doesn't make things right.
it doesn't help to solve your problems.
it doesn't solve many things..
it really doesn't.

so we run away.
but someday it'll come back to haunt you down.
and then you live with it. the scars.
nothing changes actually.
it's the heart and mind of people who always change
and that is why, things change.
like new products being produced,
like how technology keeps improving..

and so, after my load of words.
i'll say the truth.
i like deceiving myself.
i like to give myself (false) hope,
make myself happy, smile, laugh
wishes for things like it might happen.

from an angle i must be really pathetic.
but i don't really want to care.
because that's the way to survive & live.

i'm sure you understand.
don't you?

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anyways, just some random thoughts,
i love it when jaejoong sings "smile, smile" in survivor.
hahaha it really makes me smile :D

jaejoong forever! <3